I think i'm getting used to my job:
1) A customer tells me "Wow! Theres a lot going on here today. "
I replied "Actually, its been really slow in here. Not too many people come in on thursday"
They looked at me like I was a moron and said " I meant the three police cars outside"
That completely hadn't occurred to me at all...because it's normal
2) Customer: "theres a guy in a wheelchair outside asking for money"
Me: "no theres not." "There's actually two of them."
3) I'm calmly getting something out of my work locker, when three people burst through the door and someone is getting read their Miranda Rights.