So I'm at work bagging groceries, I have my "work face" on which means smiling even though there's nothing to smile about. Smiling is a great defense mechanism against people's temper tantrums because they either think you are a sweet harmless individual, or a vacant moron. Either way they don't yell at you. I start talking to this gal whose about my age and we get on the topic of cooking and I casually mention that I don't cook. Her response?
"Gurl, How do expect to get a man if you don't cook?!"
I stood there blinking at her for a few seconds because I could't believe she actually said that. I could hear a weird sound, but it was only suffragettes turning over in their graves. I realized I had no answer to her question so my intelligent glittering response was
After she left I started pondering her question because I was bored and had nothing better to do. Um how DO I expect to get a man if I don't cook? Here's what I came up with:
1.)I can organize a bookshelf like a pro.
2.) I can keep a stunningly detailed calendar. In fact I have three. I believe I deserve bonus points for the Hobbit one.
3.) I can quote all the starwars and LOTR movies verbatim. Which is of course devastatingly alluring.
4.) I speak British English, sarcasm, and i'm fluent in Doctor Who references.
5.) I'm funny. (okay I'm not actually funny, I'm just rude and people think I'm kidding)
7.) I almost always take the stairs instead of the elevator.( I don't know why but it makes me feel like a better person than the people who took the elevator)
8.) In 4-5 years I will have a lovely bachelors degree in...something...something FABULOUS...
Aaaaand yeah that's just a few of the ways i'm going to get a man without cooking. Wish me luck!