Saturday, February 16, 2013

Stupid Twin Questions

        When you are in any way connected with identical twins, you are subjected to a strange social ritual I refer to as "Stupid Twin Questions". People frantically fire some combination of the following questions at me while I stand there wondering if they are really this ignorant or if the general public really still believes all this rubbish.

Do they feel each other's pain? Like if one is injured does the other sense it?? 

 - I'm pretty sure Jonathan "sensed" that David was injured when he punched him this morning. Otherwise no, no they do not.

Can one of them sense what the other is thinking??

- No Charles Xavier, they are twins. Not members of the X-men.

I bet they switch places all the time!

- They may be identical, but they have completely different voices and personalities. You can tell which is which. Besides switching places lost it's sparkle after preschool when they realized the only fun part about it is laughing at people after you trick them. Being two imaginative fifth grade boys, they now have an infinite number of excuses to laugh at people. Without relying on "the twin thing".

Is there a good one and a bad one? 

- Actually no. Believe it or not, they are human beings with ups and downs and good days and bad days. Being a twin does not mean you are also a static cartoon character.

Which one is your favorite? 

- I have only been asked this question twice and both times I believe I said something along the lines of "Excuse me?" but in my head I had already punched them in the face. Hard. With a chair. Because they aren't just twins they're my baby brothers. Suggesting that I have a favorite is rude and insulting so don't even go down that road unless you want to be what the revenge business calls "Next".

I have two fantastic little brothers who love football, drawing, legos, and baseball. They make me laugh so hard I cry and they draw me pictures and give me hugs even if I've only been gone an hour. And honestly, half the time I forget that they just so happen to be twins.