I was chatting with the new security guard at my job and he asked me if I was going to school and then what my major was. So I told him that I had decided to major in English. And like everyone else on the planet, he asked me if I wanted to be a teacher.
I said no, because honestly I would be the worst teacher ever. I would probably just hide behind my desk throwing paperclips at my students while yelling "Shut Up MORONS!!!"
I said that what I actually wanted to do was write.
Security Guard: So, you going to write a book?
Me: Probably not, I'm not that good.
Security Guard: You're going to school right? If yo goin' to school and you wanna write then I say you write yo book honey.
You can even write about working in a store where crazy shop lifters yell at ME when they the ones that are stealing crap.
Oddly enough, this conversation really encouraged me. So maybe someday I will write a book.
Life is like the splash mountain ride at Disneyland....
On one of my family's many trips to Disneyland when I was a little kid, I saw another little girl walk by holding a massive rainbow colored lollipop about as big as her head.
To my little brain, it was the most beautiful sticky sugary thing I had ever seen and of course I needed one of my very own.
So my Mum said that if I went on the Splash Mountain Ride with her, she would buy me a giant rainbow lollipop.
My little seven year old spirit quailed at this unexpected turn my fate had taken....
I gazed in awe at the massive drop, the raging waterfall...from my tiny perspective she may as well have asked me to jump off a skyscraper.
I hesitated, the thought of careening off that waterfall in a less than sturdy looking canoe left me absolutely terrified. But....that lollipop.....that lovely sticky lollipop....I was certain i'd never even SEEN one that big before ever in my life! and I was dead certain I would never ever find a lollipop that perfect ever again. it was now or NEVER.
So after a lot of anxious indecision I decided I was going to be brave like all my role models of the time, namely Pippie Longstocking, Madeline, and the Pevinsie children. And I was going to ride Splash Mountain and get that Lollipop!
We waited in line, I was an anxious little ball of nerves and almost backed out twice, but we eventually made it on the ride.
I sat clutching the safety bar for dear life. The worst part of the whole experience was not knowing when the drop was coming and along the way you were surrounded by woodland animals whose wide crazy eyes and cheerful song seemed to be taunting me as I floated toward my imminent doom.
The drop of doom came.....
And true to her word my Mum presented me with my very own delicious massive rainbow lollipop. I spent the rest of the day with sticky hands, face and hair and with bits of lollipop in my teeth. But I was happy....I was victorious....I was BRAVE.
I just now asked my mom why it was so important to her that I go on that ride.
She got that exasperated look she always gets when I bring up instances in my childhood where she inadvertently traumatized me...
She says that she was convinced that if she got me on that one ride I would be magically cured of my fears and then be prepared to go on all the other crazy rides. She says this kind of trickery worked on all my other siblings so she expected it to work on me.
Yeah that didn't happen....so my long held tradition of failing where others succeed started much earlier than I previously thought.
I forgot how I was going to relate this story to my current life struggles ....oh well......