Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Weird Creature Things

So at work me and a coworker were discussing the amazing life changing spectacular movie that is Star Trek Into Darkness. And when another coworker heard us she said:

"Star Trek? Ew. Its a space movie right? I don't watch anything with weird creature things in it."
"Aliens are gross!"

And it made me aware of just how much of my life has "weird creature things in it". Yeah pretty much all of it.  So therefore I shall make a list. Because that's what I do.

1.) Let's start at the beginning, with Narnia, which made elementary school me completely at ease with talking animals centaurs and fauns.

2.) Moving on to Lord of the Rings which introduced Jr. High me to elves, dwarves, orcs, hobbits and my favorite, gollum/smeagol.

3.) Lets not forget Harry Potter which gave me dragons, house elves, hippogriffs, and scary mermaids.
4.) Starwars, one of the first movies I remember watching and there are literally hundreds of alien species in the Starwars galaxy. And my family may or may not own a book about all of them. My personal favorite's are the ewoks. Fun fact! I own an ewok backpack which I named Wilhelm Wundt after the psychologist.

5.) Doctor Who, anyone who says aliens are gross clearly has not met a this Galifreyan. This show also introduced me to an abundance of alien species.


The funny thing is, I realized as I was typing this is that the Star Trek movie did not have that many aliens in it. It did however have Benedict Cumberbatch! He was a lovely villain, and all fairytales need a good old fashioned villain.

Todays gifs: 

Friday, May 17, 2013

Star Trek

I am too excited for the new Star Trek movie. I say this because it history class we were watching a documentary where a bunch of old guys in suits talk a lot about politics in the 80's. I had started to zone out when one of the old guys in the video yells really loud "WHO CONTROLS THE ENTERPRISE??"


And I freaked out and started paying attention again because for a few seconds my deluded brain thought he was talking about the space ship!!! the USS Enterprise... So I was thinking Captain Kirk. Turns out they were talking about Iraq. oops.   

And then the old guys in the video continued to say the word "enterprise" over and over for the rest of the video as if to taunt me... 

On another note, for fun while I was playin with the ipad on display in the school bookstore, I changed the wallpaper to this frightening picture of a weeping angel ------> 

My English Professor announced in class that we were allowed to take whatever creative liberties we desired in the creation of the title page, table of contents, and cover letter of our Final Portfolio. I sat there in awe, letting the words sink in. Was this a dream? My time had come. I knew I could not let this moment of ultimate power slip away. So wielding the great power I had been given, THIS was my creation...

and I added this picture in too for good measure...

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The unexplained portrait sorcery

It always freaks me out when someone asks me "Can you do me a really big favor???" Because I feel like they are going to ask for a kidney or something.  however, usually, all they say is "Can you hand me that fork?"

I just finished reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It was a really lovely book about a girl named Hazel Grace. I liked it because I expected it to be a cheesy "inspirational novel" but it was a very real story. Like it was written by a really real person. 

I think the best books, the ones that really inspire you, are the ones that did not set out to inspire you in the first place. They just tell their story and let you think whatever you want. The same goes for teachers, if a teacher's goal is to change your life, odds are that class will be useless and teach you nothing. 

Incidentally I also finished reading The Picture of Dorian Grey it was very deep and philosophical but I liked it anyways. Dorian Grey was a complete jerk but Lydia had read it before and told me he dies in the end, so I put up with all Dorian's moronic nonsense because I knew all that bad Karma was going to get him eventually. It is about a guy who stays young and handsome forever ( well it would have been forever except like I mentioned before, he kicks the bucket in the end ) while a painted portrait of himself ages. My favorite part is that Oscar Wilde never explains why or how this whole portrait sorcery madness happens, and Dorian just sort of rolls with it. 
I love that Wilde was confident enough to say: 

" Yeah the portrait is magic, and I don't really care how. Deal with it. The readers want an explaination?  Nah I'm way more interested in the questions the portrait raises about the deeper nature of man, so thats what I'm going to write about." 

He was also sassy enough to wear this coat------> 

This made me curious about Oscar Wilde because I knew nothing about him besides The Picture of Dorian Grey so I looked him up on "not a reliable source" wikipedia and here's what I learned: 

- He had lots of dead family members. No surprise there. It seems like everyone in the 1800's had at least a few.

- He wrote lots of plays

- The Picture of Dorian Grey was not well accepted when it was published, Victorian London hated it, and it is the only complete novel he wrote. 

- People love to quote him. He did say a lot of nice fluffy things that people will tattoo on themselves and kids will use as senior quotes, but I think the whole magic portrait thing says more about him than all that fluffy nonsense about "being yourself" ever will. 

- He had a legal case against him because it turns out he was gay, and then he died sad and alone. That depresses me, I wish the guy who was brave enough to write a novel with  an  unexplained  magic portrait could have had a happier life. I wish maybe he could have known that people still read his one novel and don't care that he didn't explain the whole portrait sorcery thing, and that hipsters walk around with things he said tattooed on their arms. I'm sure he'd have something very clever to say about it. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Cogitate the dead squirrel

I have discovered that I have the incapacity to communicate with other human beings. For example-

Today I was walking out of the Psychology building and passed by a squirrel which freaked me out because I hate squirrels. All the squirrels at Sac state are insufferably arrogant little fatties. This squirrel however was not going to trouble me because it was dead. 

"Well thats unfortunate." I muttered. 

"What??" Said the random guy walking past me. 

"Excuse me?" I asked confused. Wondering where he had come from. 

"Oh, thought you were talking to me" random guy said, understandably a bit confused. 

"No, sorry there was a dead squirrel...."

The minute that deranged sentence left my mouth I wanted to grab it out of the air and smack myself in the face with it because that was without a doubt the most socially awkward non sequitur I could have uttered at that point. Understandably the guy backed away slowly, before making a hasty escape for his life. For surely I was a raving lunatic. 
No sorry there was a dead squirrel? 
No sorry there was a dead squirrel?? 
No sorry there was a dead squirrel???? 

On the bright side I learned two new words and a phrase in Chinese today: 

Cogitate:(verb)  To think hard, ponder, meditate about a problem. 
Eg: I shall cogitate about the grave misfiring of neurons in my brain that caused me to mention dead rodents to passing strangers. 

Sobriquet: (noun) a fancy word for nickname. 
Eg: Daniel's sobriquet is "Stormaggedon dark lord of all" 

Bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-ro: is a phrase in Chinese which translates roughly to "stupid stack of meat" and earns the distinction of being the only phrase in Chinese that I know.   

Psych hw

I recieved a truley lovely homework assignment. The assignment is to "analyze a media portrayal of a psychological disorder" in no more than a page and make sure your name is on it, no late work will be accepted... Blah blah blah.

Seriously? Did I read that correctly?? Yes! Yes! yes!I can write a whole page on SHERLOCK!!!!  
A high functioning sociopath!!

Here is a list version of what I wrote- which contains a comparison of the character of Sherlock to the most common symptoms of sociopaths (the list of symptoms comes from the work of Dr. Robert Hare who has written quite a few books on psychopathy and sociopathy) to see how Sherlock measures up....  

1.) Superficial charm, not shy at all, ability to say anything they please, never tongue tied. - This is definantly Sherlock, he is never at a loss for words and says whatever he wants no matter how horrible or socially unacceptable. The only exception is when he meets Irene Adler. 
"Yes, skipping to the part where your father was violently murdered..." 

2.) Grandiose sense of self worth, view themselves as superior human beings- Sherlock thinks he is the smartest person in the world and quite often will refer to humanity as a whole, as though he is not a part if it.
"I knew the affect it had had on a superior mind so I needed to try it on an average one" 

3.) Need for stimulation and proneness to boredom- "Bored!!! *shoots the wall* " 

4.) Pathological lying- hmmm Sherlock does lie, but only when he's working on a case. Otherwise he is brutally honest. 
"Really? I thought it was a big improvement your mouths too small now" 

5.) manipulative- Yes Sherlock often manipulates others to get his way. Like getting John to help him on cases and Molly to let him examine corpses. 

6.) juvenile delinquency- can you imagine teenage Sherlock??? 

There are way more symptoms but It was 11:00pm and I had filled the page requirement. Sherlock does in fact fit the vast majority of the 20 symptoms of a sociopath. So the show does an excellent job of portraying the disorder. What I find funny is that some of the traits that do not fit Sherlock (criminal activity for the sake of criminal activity for example) are displayed by James Moriarty. Very intriguing. Here is a link to Dr. Hare's full list of symptoms if you feel compelled to study it further:

Tuesday, May 7, 2013


I absolutely hate parking. It really stresses me out. It is astounding, the distance I am willing to walk to avoid parking near other cars. This peculiar habit results because I am really bad at parking. My plan of action is usually to turn the steering wheel, hope for the best, and when I inevitably park worse than the guy who was steering Titanic, I walk away quickly and hope no one witnessed what a complete failure I am.

On the rare occasions where I am forced to maneuver my car into a compact spot, I emerge from my car with sweat on my face and one eye twitching, as I mutter "Never again...."

On a completely unrelated note, I have the lamest mental breakdowns ever. The last time I felt like I had completely lost my mind. I came home with a new pet fish named Liam Neeson. He died. I was sad. So I bought a new fish, the ill fated B. C. Who only lasted a week. So two fish lost their lives due to my fit of insanity. Frightening isn't it?

Sometimes I think i'm conceited. But today I saw a girl that had a picture of herself as the background on her iPad. So I decided that i'm fine