Old movies and my internet adventures

So I never saw the Hunchback of Notre Dame as a child and so when it became available for instant watch on Netflix I decided to see what I had missed and "Oh. My. Gallifrey.... What is going on???"

Because in the first scene Quasimodo's mother dies. And not like in Finding Nemo where there's a dramatic cut scene and then you never see her again. No, you clearly SEE her fall to her death on some stairs. And then her dead body is just laying there on the steps for the entire rest of the scene and the other characters just keep singing while her corpse just chills there on the stairs. 

And THEN there's the whole thing with the Spanish inquisition catholic man except he's French. Who's singing about genocide and torture... Friendly reminder that this is a kids movie... 

Yeah then Esmeralda almost got burned to death by the crazy Catholic man... Yeah...

Soooooo I was bored and watching T.V. because that's what I do when i'm bored. And I saw yet another ad for online dating and I decided why not have some fun?
So I made a fake profile on a dating site ( I will not say which one in case they sue me) to see what kind of weird people are on these things.

I think my reasoning for doing this was that I needed new people to make fun of. I signed up with the name Lily Evans (Yes I got that name from Harry Potter). And I said I was an optimistic person who loves the outdoors and puppies and smiles.

And so my quest was a success because In browsing the profiles of Lily Evan's matches I found a plethora of people to laugh at. In summary, I found these interesting people:

1.) A very bitter man who says he hates the smell of theme park water, describes himself as a "train wreak and is also a DJ.

2.) I found a farmer...

3.) The 35 year old man who spelled encourage "incourage" and whether "weither"

4.) I found nerds...so many nerds....who are studying bio-physics-robot-chemisty or something

5.) Wow this one sounds almost normal...Never mind he's a vegan...

6.) "Yeah most people just don't get me" *translation* I'm probably a jerk.

7.) I'm trying to focus on my poetry right now..

A few days later: 

So I revisited Lily Evans profile and I almost felt bad because a considerable number of people were interested in her and blissfully unaware of the fact that she does not exist and is a creation of my imagination....oh well.

Todays Gifs:

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Enders Game and magic bells

I Just finished reading Ender's Game, it was a lovely book with a plot twist that made me yell "NO WAY!!!!! NoOooo!! " really loudly in public. That's how you know it's a good book. 

The ending was okay, I mean it wasn't happy but it was a better ending than I thought Ender was going to get so I didn't want to complain because it could have been a lot more sad. 

On a completely unrelated note I found this hipster post on pinterest 

So judging by the exotic ocean and ferris wheel background, this post is trying to say "go out and experience life or you will forever wonder what you missed out on" 

Awww sweet.....problem? 

Well the problem is that i've read this book, The Magician's Nephew, and in the novel this poem is written on a magic bell. Polly is a clever girl and tells Diggory not to strike the bell. Diggory is a stupid head and strikes the bell anyway. And then 

1.) It wakes up Jardis, a witch that WAS safely in a coma until Diggory was a jerk face and struck the bell when Polly told him not to

2.) That witch is then set loose on London to wreak havoc on the populace

3.) THEN she goes to Narnia and trys to mess up more stuff with magic apples

4.) Decades later that same crazy witch enslaves all of Narnia in eternal winter for 100 years!!!! 

So sorry to ruin your hipster post, but the point of the poem is that you NOT strike random bells or mess with random magical stuff or the whole future of magical lands will get messed up and it will be All. Your. Fault!!!

So this poem should NOT be pictured next to a ferris wheel. Ferris wheels speak of whimsy and adventure. Ferris wheels do NOT say "be careful what magical stuff you mess with or you might accidentaly curse a whole country with 100 years of winter" 

Day 5: Beaches and Van Gogh

We have relocated to a house by the beach. The house is really pretty but there are lots of stairs. Stairs wouldn't be an issue except i'm a klutz and have already tripped twice. But my room is really pretty and we all fit at the kitchen table so that makes up for the stairs thing.

Me and Wilhelm have been joined by my pillow pet Eeyore. Eeyore is a gloomy pessimist and therefore my spirit animal.

We understand one another on a deep emotional level. 

I should take a picture of the beach to put on here but that would require me to get up from the fort me and my stuffed animal friends have built with pillows and my iPod. And yeah thats not going to happen. 

So here is a picture of space instead. Enjoy! 

Yup thats space. 

My room has this cool thing thats like a cross between a bed and a couch. My Dad called it a "coffin with pillows". This proves once and for all that at least some of my dark sense of humor is genetic. 

 Some time later: 

I went outside and socialized with other human beings at one of my favorite stores in Oceanside. It is one of my favorites because it is the only place i know of where you can get tank tops for $3 each. 

We had seen some cool art at Disneyland, and at the street fair at Oceanside we found the artist who had drawn them, I didn't think he looked like an artist because he was wearing a polo and jeans with no holes in them, and his art was lovely. He was super nice when I talked to him and he showed us the cool hidden images and meaning in his art. 

This is my favorite of all his pieces. I love anything Vincent Van Gogh after watching the lovely Doctor Who episode about him 

Day 3: Starwars and duck whistles

By far the best part of the trip so far is the three times we went on the Star Tours ride.

My family did not appreciate it when I yelled "The song of my people!!!!" really really loudly when they said "Star Tours" and played the star wars theme 

Me and Stormy's other favorite game at theme parks is to talk in British accents so people think we are from the UK 

Either people are really gullible or me and Daniel are really good because a surprising amount of people believed us. 

Daniel is learning a new duck call/ whistle thingy that started to get really irritating and the only way I could get him to stop  whistling  was to start singing "Carry on my wayward son" by Kansas at the top of my lungs every time he started to whistle. 

It was very effective, but earned us lots of weird looks. 

Returning to the topic of Starwars, Maria got into a staring contest with the guy dressed as Darth Maul, because Pond is crazy like that. 

Day 1: Crepe'n around vegans

We'll after driving for a million years, the most interesting thing to see was a crepe truck called "Crepe'n around" with a shady looking chef painted on the side of the truck. Wilhelm and I  thought it was funny. No one else did. They have no sense of humor.

Heated debates over what action should be taken in the event that the zombie apocalypse started while we were on the highway.

Our hotel room is fancy, the two most interesting things are first of all this do not disturb sign with the most creepy murderous  gnome i've ever seen on it. 

The other is the fact that the headboard lights up and plays "once upon a dream" 

On the downside the button that controls it is right next to Maria, so I have a feeling i'm going to wake up in the middle of the night to that creepy song playing.

While I was walking around, a man in a neon shirt that read "vegan outreach" shoved a pamphlet in my hands. The pamphlet was full of graphic photos about how farm animals were made into meat, and listed the several reasons why I should become a vegan.

I read it because I wanted to be well informed. Of course, I was reading it while I was waiting in line for a chicken taco, but at least I was a well informed chicken eater. 

I'm going on an adventure!

So the lady cutting my brothers hair has "Misunderstood" tattooed across her back.

Personally I don't want a misunderstood person with sharp things near my head. So I'm keeping an eye on Stormy to make sure this chick's not a psycho. But theres probably no reason to worry and I've just misunderstood the situation. 

I hope she understands how little Stormy wants his haircut... I'd hate for there to be a misunderstanding about the length. Hehehehe

oh wow, there actually WAS a misunderstanding about his haircut. help! I'm dying of laughter!!

No one else thought this was funny. humorless losers...

Anyways me and my family (My family and I) are about to embark on a family vacation. I have appointed myself the official scribe of this venture and shall therefore keep a record of our journey. Wilhelm is coming too of course, in fact we've just finished packing for our quest. 

It is 1:12 am. oh well, i'm sure I will regret this life choice in the morning but it's not morning yet so i'm okay.

Todays Gifs: 
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People and places that do not exist

What do people who DON"T spend half their lives obsessed with fictional universes even DO??? Seriously, I have no idea. Although, after doing research on Facebook, I conclude that it involves actual human interaction, sports and small talk.

My life has been richly filled with fictional people and places since I was a kid. They have brought me endless joy and laughter. Also endless angst and pain as my favorite characters are ruthlessly killed off. When I'm not reading about these universes and characters in books or watching them on T.V. then there's Tumblr and Pinterest where I can interact with other obsessed fans like myself.

So now you can understand. I am very attached to fictional characters. I sometimes forget they are not real people. So if you insult/don't like/misinterpret the actions of a fictional character and I react with way too much anger and vehemence and get really mad like you just insulted my best friend. Sorry. I'm just really crazy.

Some of the most heated and bloodthirsty arguments I have ever had with my siblings were about places and people who did not exist. And I'm pretty sure more than one argument about movie adaptations of books has led to death threats.

I knew my family was crazy when my Dad and brother had a totally serious discussion about the pros and cons of different zombie apocalypse survival plans. A popular solution, in case you were wondering, was liquid nitrogen. because it incapacitates the zombies without splashing their guts everywhere, which helps stop the spread of the Solanum virus.

Todays Gifs:

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