Instagram

I've also made an intagram account: 

December.wednesday

To keep a photo log of my trip so follow that as well for photo updates.

Setting sights for Oxford!

From now on i'm going to be using this blog to keep a record of my trip to study English Literature  at Oxford Brookes university in the Spring 2015 semester. 

So keep an eye on this blog for updates on my getting ready for my trip and for stories of my adventures once I get to Oxford.

Toast

Our toaster makes a really annoying beeping noise when the toast is done. Not even a cute polite R2-D2 *beep* but a really annoying alarm sounding beep that sounds like "HEY STUPID YOUR TOAST IS READY!"

This is 2013 why can we not customize the beep on our toaster? I want it to be the Les Mis soundtrack so whenever my toast is ready it can play "RED the blood of angry MEN!!!!!"

(I found this picture on "real Les Mis captions" on Tumblr which you should check out if you feel like laughing) 

Under the Influence…

I've had a cold for the past week and have therefore been living in a constant state of cold medicine induced crazy.

This has caused a few alterations to my personality…

1.) I have been finding the weirdest most random everyday things completely hilarious. I laughed so hard at a mispronounced word that my Mother felt the need to apologize for my behavior. I also found a ball made of twigs in Homegoods for five dollars

and laughed so hard I ended up on the floor in an aisle alternately laughing and coughing up a lung…

2.) I have absolutely no filter. I have been spewing whatever happens to be on my mind whether it be singing along badly to 80's songs or talking to anyone who is listening about my hatred of birds…. People  at first thought this was amusing but now I think they just find it obnoxious.

3.) I lost all motivation to do anything besides breath, watch DVDs and internet…. even the simplest of tasks seems gargantuan and I just can't be bothered to do it. But the really scary thing is that not only am I not doing anything….I don't care that i'm not doing anything….Like i'm totally fine with doing nothing and no matter the consequences my brain just does. not. care.

4.) That leads to into the other weird thing, which is that I have lost all self preservation and foreword planning. Like my brain will usually think…

                                        "You know, you probably shouldn't say that" 

but right now it's just going
                                               "whoa! let's see what happens" 

So that's how I ended up buying a….

Darth Vader lightsaber!!!!!

Which is a lovely thing I am proud to own…but which I bought under the influence of cold medicine…..

Face

Do you ever wonder how you look to other people? Like I know you see yourself in mirrors but because vision is also a brain thing, how you see yourself may not necessarily be how others see you…

I'll use myself as an example

All my life I've suffered from "resting grumpy face" where I look angry all the time even if i'm not. It's just my face. In order to look pleasant and happy I need to concentrate really hard. This has caused more than a few people to tell me I look like Wednesday Addams

 Specifically during the month of October, I can pretty much guarantee I will get called "Wednesday".

Another one is people thinking that all Mexican people look alike and telling me I look like Selina Gomez.

Which causes Mexican people to laugh at me because they know I look absolutely nothing in the universe like Selina Gomez.

So for fun I morphed these two photos and ended up with this

Which to me looks like a young Miley Cyrus….. or the devil…..

Ew

Working retail...

Since i've spent the past year of my life working at a soul killing grocery store, i figured I should make a little list of hatred and talk about stuff that irritates me.

1.) All old people, actually customers in general, tell the same…three...jokes... 

(Item doesn't ring up) oh haha must be free! Haha 

(Check 100 dollar bill for authenticity) haha don't worry, I just printed it! Hahahaha

(Can I get you anything else today?) how bout a million dollars??!! Hahahahaha 

Seriously I have heard these jokes more times than can be humanly healthy...and you have to fake a laugh EVERY time when you feel like impaleing yourself on a box of waffles. 

2.) Do you work here??

No i'm just wearing this uniform and name badge as a fashion statement. 

I'm just standing here straightening this shelf for fun... I clean the windows at every store I go to!

3.) What do you mean you don't know the price of every single item in the entire store???? You should KNOW you work here! 

4.) These prices are SO high!!! it makes me sick to pay this much for food!! It's cheaper at Walmart…

Please go to Walmart. Please please please leave here and go annoy Walmart. You do realize I have no control over the price of the items in the store right???

5.) And every retail worker cringes in fear when they see someone coming towards them with a return, because chances are they don't have a receipt and they bought it five years ago and they will argue with you for five million years over a $5 item

6.) When people assume all mexican people are related and ask if i'm related to the other mexican employees.

7.) Do you SEE how long these lines are?! You need to get some more cashiers up here! 

Sure no problem i'll just go to the super secret room where we hide all the extra cashiers….

todays gifs:
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I overreact...

So recently at work there was an issue with a psycho woman yelling for the police and generally making a massive scene.

There's a story behind it, but I didn't bother to ask about it because I really didn't care. Mum says I never ask good questions.

Luckily my boss interperuted my non-reaction to the massive scene, as me making a concious effort to maintain proffesionalism.

When in reality I'm just so completely apathtic towards anything not directly involving myself, that I just couldn't be bothered to care. 

This led me to contemplate how thourougly messed up my reactions to things are, for example... 

Fight between my brothers at home: I will start yelling "SHUT UP!! " at the top of my lungs 

Actual fight in my work parking lot: Oh...whatever...they better not block the cart return... 

The filter in my fish tank broke: I was reduced to a sobbing mess in the upstairs hallway clutching a mop and shouting abuse at anyone who came near me.

The Police are at my work and arresting a shoplifter: Dude….your kinda blocking my locker….

Someone breaths near my gluten-free pizza: Get away from that or I swear I will stab you with a fork!!!  STOP looking at it!!!! 

The problem with this is that people get the idea that i'm level headed... when in reality I am extremely volitile and will overreact with a truely massive tantrum at the slightest provocation...

Todays gifs:
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